Honestly, I feel really bad for guys.

     So, I went on a trip with a really close guy friend of mine this past Saturday. We drank a lot of alcohol, and we ended up fooling around. He said that he had condoms, so I told him to put one on. I got on top of him, literally was there for like 5 seconds, and he came. He was soooooooooooooo embarrassed. I told him not to worry about it, but he was still upset. It makes me feel bad for guys sometimes, because I can’t help but laugh about it now. It just made me think. If he thought there was a chance of us hooking up (he did because of the condoms that were brought) why didn’t he prepare a little bit? Try something to make sure he doesn’t come waaaaay too quickly. Is there even a way for a guy to do that? Let me know if you want to. I am actually really curious about this subject. 

Yours truly
Bittersweet author 🙈🙉🙊

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I am so sexually frustrated

I have never had an orgasm with a partner. I’ve tried EVERYTHING. Guys have gone down on me. I have had intercourse in several different positions, while I stimulate my clit. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know, there is nothing wrong with me, because it just means I’m harder to get off. BUY WHY?! It almost feels like my body is betraying me. I can make myslef come when I’m by myself, but even then, my orgasms aren’t very satisfying. It’s making me a little bit crazy. Can I just meet a guy that will rock my socks off?! I really wish I knew what it was like to completely lose myself in a mind blowing orgasm. I know my body pretty well, yet I can never climax with someone, no matter how good it feels. Hopefully, I can figure out to climax with someone.

Best tinder date EVER

     If you couldn’t tell by the title of this blog post, I have a tinder. I have recently been more active on it, because WHY THE HELL NOT? I think tinder is a good way to meet people, that you would, otherwise, never bump into on the street or something. So, I have been branching out, and been way more open to going on these dates.
     I matched with someone, let’s call him Brandon. We went on a date, some nice dinner place. All around it was a very good date (good conversation, chemistry, etc.) During a night of a lot of drinking, I texted him. I set up plans with him to hangout at his place one night. Let me tell you, that night did come.
     When I showed up, we were being completely normal. You know, talking, laughing, flirting, and just hanging out. But, he did start to lean in and kiss me. I was totally fine with it, so I went along with it. More kissing, touching, bantering back and forth, teasing, kept us from not being able to keeping out hands off each other. I showed up at 12ish am that night, and didn’t end up leaving until 9am the next day. We never had sex, but he was really into the idea of getting me off. His exact words, “We don’t have to have sex or anything, but I really want to get you off” He told me that I didn’t owe him anything, and wouldn’t have to return the favor. I think he could tell how turned on I was. I can’t even explain how amazing the entire encounter was from beginning to start. I really want it to happen again, but I’m not sure on how to do that. So, if you have any advice, let me know. I could definitely use it.

Absolute Bullshit

image

This picture is a representation of what is wrong with America. It’s the ignorance, the prejudice, the racism, and straight up stupidity that people are not willing to see. This young man killed 9 innocent BLACK people.  I feel the need to clarify that the people he killed were black, because it was a hate crime. It was not about religion (no matter how many white/upper class/male/republicans living in the south tells you it wasn’t. Even though it is very apparent to most people that this crime is one of racism, there are still people saying it wasn’t.  Another thing, this killer was charged with insanity.  WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT?! That is white privilege right there. He left the crime scene with no hand cuffs on. He had a judge sympathize with his family more than with the families of the people he killed. He was kept in a separate room during the bail hearing, so his life was not in danger. He didn’t need to watch the families cry, and hug as they talked about their loved ones he killed. WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA? We are reliving an Era we thought had passed. We may have advanced in technology and science, but we can’t see and get passed the obvious prejudice and racism that is shown in this country? It scares me that I, as a teenager girl, can see what’s wrong here, but a lot of people, grown men and woman can’t. These people are then teaching their children their unhealthy views. That you’re superior because of the color of your skin; It’s okay if someone dies, as long as it’s a minority; even though this man killed 9 innocent people for no reason, the real terrorist is one who believes in Allah; it’s okay that the KKK is still an active organization, but it’s nothing you have to worry about because you’re not black. This needs to stop. Now. People need to stop ignoring these problems in our society. We need to stop allowing this REPEATED privilege from bringing justice to those who are hurting innocent people. Stop the bullshit, America. Please. Pretty soon, we’ll all be full of hate. America is the land of the free, but people are still a slave to the injustice that is our country. ‘God bless America? More like, ‘Society bless those who are chosen.’ Because it starts with us, society,  to make change. Fuck, let’s make a change goddammit.

Yours truly

Bittersweet author

A Poem About Being Evil

Evil spelled backwards tells me to live.

Although love is dangerous, impatient, and most of the time unkind.

I find myself lost in it’s endless labyrinth.

Because ignorance is bliss, and I am on cloud nine for the time being.

Seduced by the way love makes me live, and how it sometimes makes me evil.

But they’re the same thing, aren’t they?

 

Apathy, that word is the real evil.

The lack of any feeling, because without our emotions we’d all be robots.

In some ways we are those mechanical demons.

Believing lies of others, but no longer believing in ourselves,

just so we can feel appreciated for a few hours.

And eventually we end up soaking our pillow with salt water.

 

The dreams and fairytales morph into new life.

You start to feel again, and it really fucking hurts.

But you can see reality, in all it’s harsh clearness,

and start to notice the real evil.

It wasn’t you, but it could be if you follow.

Following the yellow brick road to the path of pain and regret.

To use others for you own evil.

 

I never thought about the way someone could hurt me, and not even know.

To stab me repeatedly, and not even leave a wound.

This, my friends, is a warning.

Don’t be dangerous, because most people can’t refuse the temptation of evil.

I believe there are two different evils.

One can make you live, and the other can kill.

Which one will you choose?

I am the biggest fucking idiot on this planet.

I slept with my best friend’s older brother. I am literally stupid.

Why did I do this? You’re probably wondering….well, alcohol and hormones. FUCK YOU HOROMONES! I usually wouldn’t be this pissed at myself, but I don’t know why I did it, and it could cause some major conflict between my friend and I. God, I really hope she doesn’t find out.

This is how it went down. I went over to her house for Thirsty Thursday (margaritas), and I got pretty drunk. Her older brother kept kinda flirty with me, but I couldn’t tell for sure. I thought he was just messing with me. I helped him clean the kitchen, while my friend fell asleep in her room. After we were done cleaning we sat on the couch and watched some t.v. I’m not exactly sure how it happened, but I was standing in front of him and he started to tickle me. I bent down as a natural reaction to getting away from the tickling, and he pulled me in. Next thing I know, I’m straddling him and we’re making out. We thought someone saw us, so he asked if I want to go into his room. THAT WAS MY OUT! I COULD HAVE STOP ANYTHING ELSE FROM HAPPENING! WHY DIDN’T I DO THAT, YOU ASK! BECAUSE I’M AN IDIOT.

So now, I am praying to the God I don’t believe in that my friend doesn’t find out. Gosh, I really hope she doesn’t fine out. I’m also never sleeping with her brother again. Hope you guys find my mistakes funny, at least someone will be enjoying themselves.

Yours truly
Bittersweet author

I have a date?! What?!

Yes, it is true! I, with all the craziness going on in my life, have a date. I got a tinder, and I talk to a few guys, and he’s the first dude who isn’t really creepy and is really cute. I just wanted to tell someone, because I don’t really want to tell my friends about it and make a big deal. But anyways, hopefully everything goes okay! ☺
Have a lovely evening!

P.s I don’t really go on dates, so if anyone has any advice for me, it would be much appreciated. Thanks!

Yours truly

Bittersweet author

The funny thing about friendship in high school

Well, to be honest, it doesn’t really exist. I guess I can’t really say that for the general population, but from my personal experience and other’s I have heard or seen. I don’t really know how to explain it the ‘perfect’ way, so I’m going to do my best to describe what I mean. High school is one of the worst stages in your life, for me, it’s the worst. I hate everything about high school, but what I hate the most is the fact you’re forced to stay with the same people for four years. For example, I am friends with people who don’t actually care about me, and don’t even try to understand and help me in difficult times. Even my ‘best friend’ is someone who I can’t count on very much. I am one of those people that will be there for someone, like, REALLY be there for you. I am that way because I’ve had to deal with a lot of shit in my life. My dad is an alcoholic/ addict and has struggled with this for most of my childhood. I had to grow up really fast. I had to learn the harsh reality of the world before any child should. Now I’m not saying that to get pity from anyone, because I am happy that it happened. It made me into the person I am today, and that is someone I can be proud of. Having to deal with that most of my childhood, and recently in my high school years, has opened my eyes even more. I am in high school, and I don’t have anyone that I can really look to in times of need. I usually try to stay strong, because that’s how I got through everything I have. But recently, things have been really crazy with school, boy troubles, college applications and deadlines, and now is when I need the most help from a friend, but I don’t have one…….That is a really pathetic to actually fathom and comprehend to myself. I know I’m not the only one that is going through this, but it’s sad that anyone should have to deal with this. I don’t really know why I decided to write about this…..I guess I feel alone right now, and it kinda sucks. I will get over it though. I’m a big girl. I’m just hoping this shit doesn’t happen in college.