A Poem About Being Evil

Evil spelled backwards tells me to live.

Although love is dangerous, impatient, and most of the time unkind.

I find myself lost in it’s endless labyrinth.

Because ignorance is bliss, and I am on cloud nine for the time being.

Seduced by the way love makes me live, and how it sometimes makes me evil.

But they’re the same thing, aren’t they?

 

Apathy, that word is the real evil.

The lack of any feeling, because without our emotions we’d all be robots.

In some ways we are those mechanical demons.

Believing lies of others, but no longer believing in ourselves,

just so we can feel appreciated for a few hours.

And eventually we end up soaking our pillow with salt water.

 

The dreams and fairytales morph into new life.

You start to feel again, and it really fucking hurts.

But you can see reality, in all it’s harsh clearness,

and start to notice the real evil.

It wasn’t you, but it could be if you follow.

Following the yellow brick road to the path of pain and regret.

To use others for you own evil.

 

I never thought about the way someone could hurt me, and not even know.

To stab me repeatedly, and not even leave a wound.

This, my friends, is a warning.

Don’t be dangerous, because most people can’t refuse the temptation of evil.

I believe there are two different evils.

One can make you live, and the other can kill.

Which one will you choose?

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The funny thing about friendship in high school

Well, to be honest, it doesn’t really exist. I guess I can’t really say that for the general population, but from my personal experience and other’s I have heard or seen. I don’t really know how to explain it the ‘perfect’ way, so I’m going to do my best to describe what I mean. High school is one of the worst stages in your life, for me, it’s the worst. I hate everything about high school, but what I hate the most is the fact you’re forced to stay with the same people for four years. For example, I am friends with people who don’t actually care about me, and don’t even try to understand and help me in difficult times. Even my ‘best friend’ is someone who I can’t count on very much. I am one of those people that will be there for someone, like, REALLY be there for you. I am that way because I’ve had to deal with a lot of shit in my life. My dad is an alcoholic/ addict and has struggled with this for most of my childhood. I had to grow up really fast. I had to learn the harsh reality of the world before any child should. Now I’m not saying that to get pity from anyone, because I am happy that it happened. It made me into the person I am today, and that is someone I can be proud of. Having to deal with that most of my childhood, and recently in my high school years, has opened my eyes even more. I am in high school, and I don’t have anyone that I can really look to in times of need. I usually try to stay strong, because that’s how I got through everything I have. But recently, things have been really crazy with school, boy troubles, college applications and deadlines, and now is when I need the most help from a friend, but I don’t have one…….That is a really pathetic to actually fathom and comprehend to myself. I know I’m not the only one that is going through this, but it’s sad that anyone should have to deal with this. I don’t really know why I decided to write about this…..I guess I feel alone right now, and it kinda sucks. I will get over it though. I’m a big girl. I’m just hoping this shit doesn’t happen in college.