I have a date?! What?!

Yes, it is true! I, with all the craziness going on in my life, have a date. I got a tinder, and I talk to a few guys, and he’s the first dude who isn’t really creepy and is really cute. I just wanted to tell someone, because I don’t really want to tell my friends about it and make a big deal. But anyways, hopefully everything goes okay! ☺
Have a lovely evening!

P.s I don’t really go on dates, so if anyone has any advice for me, it would be much appreciated. Thanks!

Yours truly

Bittersweet author

Advertisements

The funny thing about friendship in high school

Well, to be honest, it doesn’t really exist. I guess I can’t really say that for the general population, but from my personal experience and other’s I have heard or seen. I don’t really know how to explain it the ‘perfect’ way, so I’m going to do my best to describe what I mean. High school is one of the worst stages in your life, for me, it’s the worst. I hate everything about high school, but what I hate the most is the fact you’re forced to stay with the same people for four years. For example, I am friends with people who don’t actually care about me, and don’t even try to understand and help me in difficult times. Even my ‘best friend’ is someone who I can’t count on very much. I am one of those people that will be there for someone, like, REALLY be there for you. I am that way because I’ve had to deal with a lot of shit in my life. My dad is an alcoholic/ addict and has struggled with this for most of my childhood. I had to grow up really fast. I had to learn the harsh reality of the world before any child should. Now I’m not saying that to get pity from anyone, because I am happy that it happened. It made me into the person I am today, and that is someone I can be proud of. Having to deal with that most of my childhood, and recently in my high school years, has opened my eyes even more. I am in high school, and I don’t have anyone that I can really look to in times of need. I usually try to stay strong, because that’s how I got through everything I have. But recently, things have been really crazy with school, boy troubles, college applications and deadlines, and now is when I need the most help from a friend, but I don’t have one…….That is a really pathetic to actually fathom and comprehend to myself. I know I’m not the only one that is going through this, but it’s sad that anyone should have to deal with this. I don’t really know why I decided to write about this…..I guess I feel alone right now, and it kinda sucks. I will get over it though. I’m a big girl. I’m just hoping this shit doesn’t happen in college.

Oooooooooh, a secret!

Now, you may be wondering what this, so called, ‘secret’ is. I’ll tell you. I, unintentionally, got my ex’s friends on my side………whoops!

Haha. Honestly, I didn’t really need to do anything besides be myself, and let my ex be himself. He looked like the bad guy because he was one. I just stood by and didn’t make excuses l for him like I used to. I mean, it also helps because all of his friends finds me attractive, but how is that important?

As I am typing this blog, I am talking to my ex’s old roommate and current friend. He has repeatedly started the conversation, and always seems to compliment me when we talk. Not only this friend, but some of ‘Adam’s’ other friends too. Now, I bet I sound like a complete bitch, but you need to understand, the asshole, that is my ex. You can probably get a better understanding if you read my previous blogs. Then you’ll understand why ‘Adam’s’ friends have decided I’m actually awesome.

Though the weird thing is, I’m starting to like talking to ‘Jake’. I am kinda wishing that something could possibly happen between us. When ‘Adam’ and I were dating (6 months), he never once made me cum. I literally faked orgasms for six months! I am a very sexually frustrated girl. The thing that makes me so mad, is the fact the ‘Adam’ thinks he’s hot shit because he lost his virginity. If only he knew, he would die first before he could find my clitoris! Basically, he didn’t know his shit, probably still doesn’t. Anyways! I kinda want to have sex with ‘Jake’ because I’m sure he actually knows what he’s doing, and he’s actually a nice guy. I could see myself having fun with him for one night, maybe more. I doubt he would try to stop it if I initiated it. Would probably have to wait for a night that ‘Adam’ left for the night, or out of town for that matter.

I can see the way I would do it. We’d obviously both be intoxicated (not because we need alcohol to do the deed, but because that’s what we do when we hangout. We get drunk). I would get him to play pong with me. I would touch him a lot (actually touch him, not the weak ass shit ‘Adam’ was accusing me of last time.) Everytime he looked at me, I would smile, and look him straight in the eyes. I would probably get us alone on the back porch at some point. There, I would make chit-chat, and when the conversation slows, I’ll look him in the eyes again. Slowly, I will lean in, just enough for him to realize what’s happening and kiss him, just a peck. I will look at him again to see his reaction, slightly smile, then lean in again. This time I will actually kiss him. Harder. Passionate. More everything. When he’s getting into it, I’ll giggle slightly, rub his chest, run my fingers through his hair, and whisper in his ear, “Can I sleep in your room tonight? All the guys are taking up the couches. I mean, we can put a pillow or something between us if it makes you uncomfortable after, well you know, after what just happened. ” Knowing ‘Jake’ he’ll say it’s fine. That night, I’ll go into his room, put on my nonexistent pajama bottoms and top and get cozy. At first we’ll sleep apart from each other, but as some time passes I’ll scoot closer. I will rub my body on the side of his, until I can tell he is awake (trust me, I’ll know). Then I will whisper again, “Are you awake?” He will be. “Can you look at me for a second?” Once he looks towards me, I’ll pounce.

I think you get the idea…….use your imagination for the rest.

Yours truly

Bittersweet author

Important questions to ask when finding a roommate for college!

What is your sleeping schedule like? 
Do you have any food allergies? 
Do you have a mini fridge? (I do)
Are you religious? 
Are you planning to rush?
What kind of music do you listen to?
Do you drink/do drugs?
Are you neat or messy?
Would you consider yourself an outgoing person?
What kinds of things do you like to do when you’re not in school? 
Do you go to sporting events? 
Do you have any pet peeves I should know about?
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? (I don’t judge). If so, will he/she visit often?
How do you feel about dating in general? 
What extracurricular activities do you plan to be in?
How do you feel about space?
Do you already have a preference for what dorm you want to live in?
What is your money situation? 
What are you planning to study? 
Do you have any medical issues I should know about?
What are your political views?
Would you like to ask me anything?

I’m trying to find a roommate for next year when I’m staying in the dorms. I thought I’d share with anyone who is going through,  or will in the future,  some important questions to ask. It’s good to ask, so you don’t end up with someone you don’t agree with. This will help make the perfect choice, so you can have a kick ass freshmen year. I know I plan to!

Yours truly
Bittersweet author

Question for you guys! Help me!

Okay, so there’s this thing called tinder,  And apparently you can meet people. I have just started an account and there are some promising dudes on there. My question to you guys is whether actually going out on a date with the people you meet on tinder is a good idea. I am a young, attractive girl, and I’m always paranoid that something bad will happen to me if I meet new guys like that. But I see everywhere that girls, just like me, go on dates, and all the repercussions are is a bad date. I want to know your guy’s opinion whether I should go on a date or not, and if I do, how should I do it
Tips! Please help a girl out!

Yours truly
Bittersweet author

LISTEN

Sometimes, I wish people would just shut the fuck up. My family, my friends, my teachers, everyone just needs to stop talking. Stop telling me what to do, to think, to feel, and just listen to what I have to say. I don’t need my family to say that I need to do better. I just need them to believe in my abilities, and not question my decisions on how to do things. I definitely don’t need my friends making jokes about my problems at home. After they ask why I’m not as happy as my usual self. I really don’t need teachers to say discouraging things to me when I’m feeling my worst. Especially when they are the ones that are supposed to encourage my youthful mind. I wish my family would stop being so fucked up. I wish I didn’t have to feel like I need to hide things from my friends. I wish I could talk to my teachers on a personal level, and not have them laugh in my face as they tell me my problems don’t matter. Just because I’m young, doesn’t mean I haven’t experienced hardship. I may be a teenager, but it doesn’t mean my emotions are irrational. I’m tired of people brushing off my feelings because ‘I’m overreacting’; because they’re not as important as theirs. You don’t know what my life has been like. You have no idea what I think about myself. You have no clue. If people would just listen, really listen; they would understand. Most people just listen for the next time they can talk. They don’t actually care how you feel. So, stop and listen. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll get why people are the way they are.