Honestly, I feel really bad for guys.

     So, I went on a trip with a really close guy friend of mine this past Saturday. We drank a lot of alcohol, and we ended up fooling around. He said that he had condoms, so I told him to put one on. I got on top of him, literally was there for like 5 seconds, and he came. He was soooooooooooooo embarrassed. I told him not to worry about it, but he was still upset. It makes me feel bad for guys sometimes, because I can’t help but laugh about it now. It just made me think. If he thought there was a chance of us hooking up (he did because of the condoms that were brought) why didn’t he prepare a little bit? Try something to make sure he doesn’t come waaaaay too quickly. Is there even a way for a guy to do that? Let me know if you want to. I am actually really curious about this subject. 

Yours truly
Bittersweet author 🙈🙉🙊

Advertisements

I am so sexually frustrated

I have never had an orgasm with a partner. I’ve tried EVERYTHING. Guys have gone down on me. I have had intercourse in several different positions, while I stimulate my clit. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know, there is nothing wrong with me, because it just means I’m harder to get off. BUY WHY?! It almost feels like my body is betraying me. I can make myslef come when I’m by myself, but even then, my orgasms aren’t very satisfying. It’s making me a little bit crazy. Can I just meet a guy that will rock my socks off?! I really wish I knew what it was like to completely lose myself in a mind blowing orgasm. I know my body pretty well, yet I can never climax with someone, no matter how good it feels. Hopefully, I can figure out to climax with someone.

I am the biggest fucking idiot on this planet.

I slept with my best friend’s older brother. I am literally stupid.

Why did I do this? You’re probably wondering….well, alcohol and hormones. FUCK YOU HOROMONES! I usually wouldn’t be this pissed at myself, but I don’t know why I did it, and it could cause some major conflict between my friend and I. God, I really hope she doesn’t find out.

This is how it went down. I went over to her house for Thirsty Thursday (margaritas), and I got pretty drunk. Her older brother kept kinda flirty with me, but I couldn’t tell for sure. I thought he was just messing with me. I helped him clean the kitchen, while my friend fell asleep in her room. After we were done cleaning we sat on the couch and watched some t.v. I’m not exactly sure how it happened, but I was standing in front of him and he started to tickle me. I bent down as a natural reaction to getting away from the tickling, and he pulled me in. Next thing I know, I’m straddling him and we’re making out. We thought someone saw us, so he asked if I want to go into his room. THAT WAS MY OUT! I COULD HAVE STOP ANYTHING ELSE FROM HAPPENING! WHY DIDN’T I DO THAT, YOU ASK! BECAUSE I’M AN IDIOT.

So now, I am praying to the God I don’t believe in that my friend doesn’t find out. Gosh, I really hope she doesn’t fine out. I’m also never sleeping with her brother again. Hope you guys find my mistakes funny, at least someone will be enjoying themselves.

Yours truly
Bittersweet author

I have a date?! What?!

Yes, it is true! I, with all the craziness going on in my life, have a date. I got a tinder, and I talk to a few guys, and he’s the first dude who isn’t really creepy and is really cute. I just wanted to tell someone, because I don’t really want to tell my friends about it and make a big deal. But anyways, hopefully everything goes okay! ☺
Have a lovely evening!

P.s I don’t really go on dates, so if anyone has any advice for me, it would be much appreciated. Thanks!

Yours truly

Bittersweet author

Oooooooooh, a secret!

Now, you may be wondering what this, so called, ‘secret’ is. I’ll tell you. I, unintentionally, got my ex’s friends on my side………whoops!

Haha. Honestly, I didn’t really need to do anything besides be myself, and let my ex be himself. He looked like the bad guy because he was one. I just stood by and didn’t make excuses l for him like I used to. I mean, it also helps because all of his friends finds me attractive, but how is that important?

As I am typing this blog, I am talking to my ex’s old roommate and current friend. He has repeatedly started the conversation, and always seems to compliment me when we talk. Not only this friend, but some of ‘Adam’s’ other friends too. Now, I bet I sound like a complete bitch, but you need to understand, the asshole, that is my ex. You can probably get a better understanding if you read my previous blogs. Then you’ll understand why ‘Adam’s’ friends have decided I’m actually awesome.

Though the weird thing is, I’m starting to like talking to ‘Jake’. I am kinda wishing that something could possibly happen between us. When ‘Adam’ and I were dating (6 months), he never once made me cum. I literally faked orgasms for six months! I am a very sexually frustrated girl. The thing that makes me so mad, is the fact the ‘Adam’ thinks he’s hot shit because he lost his virginity. If only he knew, he would die first before he could find my clitoris! Basically, he didn’t know his shit, probably still doesn’t. Anyways! I kinda want to have sex with ‘Jake’ because I’m sure he actually knows what he’s doing, and he’s actually a nice guy. I could see myself having fun with him for one night, maybe more. I doubt he would try to stop it if I initiated it. Would probably have to wait for a night that ‘Adam’ left for the night, or out of town for that matter.

I can see the way I would do it. We’d obviously both be intoxicated (not because we need alcohol to do the deed, but because that’s what we do when we hangout. We get drunk). I would get him to play pong with me. I would touch him a lot (actually touch him, not the weak ass shit ‘Adam’ was accusing me of last time.) Everytime he looked at me, I would smile, and look him straight in the eyes. I would probably get us alone on the back porch at some point. There, I would make chit-chat, and when the conversation slows, I’ll look him in the eyes again. Slowly, I will lean in, just enough for him to realize what’s happening and kiss him, just a peck. I will look at him again to see his reaction, slightly smile, then lean in again. This time I will actually kiss him. Harder. Passionate. More everything. When he’s getting into it, I’ll giggle slightly, rub his chest, run my fingers through his hair, and whisper in his ear, “Can I sleep in your room tonight? All the guys are taking up the couches. I mean, we can put a pillow or something between us if it makes you uncomfortable after, well you know, after what just happened. ” Knowing ‘Jake’ he’ll say it’s fine. That night, I’ll go into his room, put on my nonexistent pajama bottoms and top and get cozy. At first we’ll sleep apart from each other, but as some time passes I’ll scoot closer. I will rub my body on the side of his, until I can tell he is awake (trust me, I’ll know). Then I will whisper again, “Are you awake?” He will be. “Can you look at me for a second?” Once he looks towards me, I’ll pounce.

I think you get the idea…….use your imagination for the rest.

Yours truly

Bittersweet author

Important questions to ask when finding a roommate for college!

What is your sleeping schedule like? 
Do you have any food allergies? 
Do you have a mini fridge? (I do)
Are you religious? 
Are you planning to rush?
What kind of music do you listen to?
Do you drink/do drugs?
Are you neat or messy?
Would you consider yourself an outgoing person?
What kinds of things do you like to do when you’re not in school? 
Do you go to sporting events? 
Do you have any pet peeves I should know about?
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? (I don’t judge). If so, will he/she visit often?
How do you feel about dating in general? 
What extracurricular activities do you plan to be in?
How do you feel about space?
Do you already have a preference for what dorm you want to live in?
What is your money situation? 
What are you planning to study? 
Do you have any medical issues I should know about?
What are your political views?
Would you like to ask me anything?

I’m trying to find a roommate for next year when I’m staying in the dorms. I thought I’d share with anyone who is going through,  or will in the future,  some important questions to ask. It’s good to ask, so you don’t end up with someone you don’t agree with. This will help make the perfect choice, so you can have a kick ass freshmen year. I know I plan to!

Yours truly
Bittersweet author

Question for you guys! Help me!

Okay, so there’s this thing called tinder,  And apparently you can meet people. I have just started an account and there are some promising dudes on there. My question to you guys is whether actually going out on a date with the people you meet on tinder is a good idea. I am a young, attractive girl, and I’m always paranoid that something bad will happen to me if I meet new guys like that. But I see everywhere that girls, just like me, go on dates, and all the repercussions are is a bad date. I want to know your guy’s opinion whether I should go on a date or not, and if I do, how should I do it
Tips! Please help a girl out!

Yours truly
Bittersweet author

The OH so WONDERFUL conversation!

If you couldn’t tell, I am using the most sarcasm I have ever used in my life, and if you knew me, that’s a bold statement. Let’s see….what can I say…..it was absolute shit. Not only did I cry, because that’s what happens every time we have those conversations. But I also was blamed for ‘flirty’ because I didn’t outwardly tell the guy I was talking to that I wasn’t interested. I was a Frat party where I didn’t know anyone.  My friends were off doing their own thing, which I didn’t mind, but I was a little bit out of my comfort zone. I’m an adaptable person, so what did I do? I went and starting talking to someone,  a freshman guy named ‘Marcus’. He was actually really nice, and we had a very good conversation until we all left together to go back to the guys place to party. I talked with him at the guys place because he was in the same situation I was in when he came to my rescue at the Frat. I honestly didn’t mean to come off like I was flirting with him, it was a big misunderstanding. ‘Adam’ also said that I was being handsy with his friend ‘Jake’. It wasn’t like I was grabbing his ass or anything,  I was just touching his shoulder or something.  I honestly think ‘Adam’ was more jealous than anything.  I would never be like that around other people if I wasn’t comfortable around them. ‘Jake’ is someone I like and trust as a person, so I don’t think about me touching him as a ‘sexual thing’, but it was definitely taken that way from ‘Adam’. Adam also told me that I threw up in his sink, and then tried to ‘get some’, which is really embarrassing and I apologized for. But he said that I made him feel used. What? I know that I’m not perfect,  but every time we have these conversations, it’s just Adam telling me everything I did wrong. I just feel really awful right now. I don’t like feeling this way, because I am usually a really happy, upbeat person. I tried to be at least, but I definitely don’t feel that way right now. Well, there’s the update for ya. Hope your night went better than mine did.

Yours truly
Bittersweet author

We should definitely have that conversation soon.

Ugh. Individually these words don’t mean anything special. But put them together in that order, and you have one of the scariest sentences known to man. These words are worst than any confession made by a serial killer in a horror film. These words are real, and although they seem like nothing, they’re very deadly.  These are the words ‘Adam’ texted me yesterday.  I’m assuming our conversation is about my drunken attempt at trying to satisfy a need both of us want, but don’t actually try anything until we’re both drunk. Conversations like these are ones I am not good at. I am the worst at telling someone, especially someone I care about a lot, my feelings and why I feel that way. It’s something I’ve always had a problem with, and that I continue to work on everyday.  But,  I’m gonna to talk with him tonight. I’d like to say that I’ll give him a piece of my mind. That I’ll tell him he really hurt me, and that I just want him to realize what he did and apologize. I wish I could tell you that he won’t somehow end up making me feel bad, but I can’t.  I would be lying to you, and I’m here writing this to be honest, brutally honest with myself. And trust me when I say it is very brutal. One of the worst feelings is keeping something inside, when all you want to do is scream it at the top of your lungs. I will try to suck less at talking to him, but we’ll see what happens.  I’ll keep you updated.  Wish me luck!

Yours truly
Bittersweet author